Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize