I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
