This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
