So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
