I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
