yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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