I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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