its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
