This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
