Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize
