new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
