Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
