I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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