I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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