Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
