the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
