Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
