I'm really into asian looking animals
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
