Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
