i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
