There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
