The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
