then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
