I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
