he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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