marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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