im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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