Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I believe in your delicious
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
