you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
