Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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