therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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