Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
