So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
