my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
