I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
