Can Purell be used as lube?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
