My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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