First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
