If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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