The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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