My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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