So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
