She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Randomize
