Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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