drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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