Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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