What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
