you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
She's the barista slut.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
