Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
