I wish I could punch you in the face.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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