just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize