Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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