apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
