Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
