i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Randomize
