Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Found your dick twin last night
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
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