Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Small penises have feelings too.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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