I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
