My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
